Chances
by Ellie717
Summary: "James... We don't need to be together anymore." "You don't understand; you've never understood! You say that we don't need to be together, but you're wrong. I need to be with you, Lily! You're my whole reason for living. You've always been my whole reason for living. And now that I've been with you... I can't just forget! Don't you get it? I love you!"
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hi guys! So, this is the prologue to my new story. It's one of those teaser things that takes place right near the end, maybe a chapter or two before.**

**And this whole story takes place during their 7th year.  
**

**Warnings: I rated this T because I didn't think it was M worthy, but it does contain some swearing, and there is IMPLIED sexual content in later chapters.  
**

**That is all I have to say now. Enjoy!  
**

Prologue

He found her lying on the couch in the Head's Common Room. He sighed when he saw her. Her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, she was too pale, her hair was a mess, and yet, James thought her as beautiful as ever. He strode over to her softly, sitting on the end of the couch by her feet. She bolted up at the sight of him, quickly wiping her eyes.

"We need to talk about this," he told her, determined to finally get some sort of answer from her. She had avoided him for days, and he couldn't stand it anymore.

"What's there to talk about, James? It's over. Done with." She started to get up, but James quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

"It's not over, and you know it. We have to talk about this. We're not going to avoid each other for the rest of term! I can't do that," he told her. She stared at him, then shook her head.

"James... I don't know what you want me to say. We don't need to be together anymore." James let out a loud breath, standing up, and pacing the room. He ran both hands through his hair, a sign that he was truly exasperated.

"You don't understand; you've _never_ understood! You say that we don't need to be together, but you're wrong. I need to be with you, Lily! You're my whole reason for living. You've _always_ been my whole reason for living. And now that I've been with you... I can't just forget! Don't you get it? I love you!"

Of all the response James imagined he would get, the choking sound that came out of her was not one of them. She stood up quickly, and bolted from the room. James watched her go, shocked. How could she leave him like this? After all they had been through, after all she had done, after all he had just admitted, how could she walk away? It wasn't fair!

Frustrated, James kicked the couch. He paced again, trying to figure out what to do next. Should he go after her? No. No, not this time. He couldn't handle any more rejection. He was giving up. There was nothing left for him to do. He had lost her. The thought weighed on him, and he sunk down into the couch. Putting his hands over his eyes, he tried to think positively, but he knew it was impossible. He could barely breath, his chest felt so heavy.

"Why couldn't I have just said _no_?"


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright, here is Chapter 1, which is the real beginning.**

A knock woke him. James groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, hoping whoever it was would go away. His Quidditch match had been brutal, and even though there was a party in the Gryffindor common room in celebration of their win, James had decided to go to bed.

"James?" someone called. James recognized Alice's voice from the other side of the door.

"I'm sleeping!" he shouted to her.

"James, please. It's important... It's about Lily." Hearing the concern in her voice, James sprung out of bed and blindly threw on some jeans before stumbling to the door.

"What's wrong with Lily?" he asked as soon as he had the door open. Alice looked worried.

"I'm not sure. She's just... Out of control. I don't know why. She won't listen to me, either. That's why I came to get you. I just don't know what else to do."

"What do you mean she's out of control?" James asked.

"She's had way too much to drink. I've seen her dance with at least three guys, and I'm pretty sure she's making out with one now-"

James didn't wait for Alice to finish. He strode down the stairs, anger building inside him. He didn't care that he didn't have shoes on. He didn't care that he didn't have a shirt on. All he cared about was getting Lily away from whomever she was making out with.

He spotted her immediately. She was pressed up against the wall, pinned by some blond guy, whose hands were all over her. James roughly grabbed the guy's shirt collar and yanked him backwards. Because the blond was obviously drunk, he fell the ground with a confused look on his face. A few people turned to look at him, but most were too drunk to care.

"James!" Lily slurred, causing James to look back at her. That was when he noticed what she was wearing. A black dress that was way too tight and way too short, accompanied by black heels. He momentarily forgot his anger, and gawked at her skimpy outfit. He had never seen Lily in something so sexy before, and it was damn distracting. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he grabbed Lily's wrist and led her out of the common room.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked with a big smile on her face as she stumbled along. She seemed to have forgotten all about the blond guy.

"Away from there," James answered curtly. Lily giggled, and James looked at her incredulously.

"Why are you laughing?" She gave him a drunken smile.

"You're funny when you're angry," she said, laughing again. James frowned and continued to pull her along.

"I don't think this situation is very amusing," he told her.

"Well, why not?" she asked in an overly happy voice.

"Because you're drunk as fuck, and you were making out with a guy whose name you probably don't even know!" Lily took an exaggerated sigh.

"Why can't I get drunk and make out with someone? It's not like I have a boyfriend."

James could tell that she was getting angry now. The last thing he wanted to do was evoke Lily's drunken rage, and though he'd never admit it, her comment had hurt him. She would rather drunkenly hook up with someone she didn't know than go on even one date with him. He sighed a heartbreaking sigh, and let go of her hand. "Stand here for just a minute," he told her. Silently, he walked back and forth until a door appeared on the wall.

"How did you do that?" Lily gasped, her anger apparently forgotten. James gave her a weak smile and led her inside.

"It's called the Room of Requirement. You just think of what you need, and it appears for you." He motioned to the room. It was simply decorated, with cream colored walls and a darker colored carpet. In the center of the room, however, was a large ornate bed. It had an open canopy, with dark maroon drapes wrapped around the frame and hanging down at each corner. The bedding was the same dark maroon, and the vast amount of pillows alternated between the maroon and cream color of the walls. The lights were dim, and the whole room had a very soft feel to it.

"Wow. This is incredible." Lily looked around in wonder. James gave her a halfhearted smile, and walked over to a brown door that was just a short walk from the bed.

"There's a bathroom here-" he began to say, but stopped mid-sentence when he turned around. Lily had taken her dress off. James stood, staring at her underwear clad body in shock, his mouth dangling open. He felt his face heat up. He made some unintelligible noises, trying to articulate a sentence.

"Lily," he finally managed, "What... Uh... Why-" Lily's laughter cut him off.

"You're cute when you're flustered."

James felt more heat rush to his face and knew that he must look ridiculous standing there, red-faced and gaping. Embarrassed, he averted his eyes, casting them to the floor. This was not happening. It_ could n__ot_ be happening. Of course, he had dreamed of this day since he first started liking girls. Liking Lily, that is. But, he had always thought that when it happened- _if_ it happened- Lily would be a little less intoxicated, and a little more in control of her actions. She was too drunk. It shouldn't happen like this.

"Lily, put your dress back on." Suddenly, she was right there, breathing in his ear.

"Why?"

"B-Because you're drunk." She ran her fingers down his cheek, and onto his neck, taking no notice of his words. He closed his eyes at the feel of it. Taking a deep breath, he stepped away from her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hand drop to her side.

"He was right. Nobody wants me," she whispered. Startled, James looked up at her, and was surprised to see her on the brink on tears.

"What are you talking about? Who said that?" he asked. He saw a few tears roll down her face as she answered.

"Amos. He said that nobody wants me. He said that I was a bitch who didn't know how to have fun and no one would ever want me. And he was right. Even you don't want me."

"How can you say that?" he asked incredulously, "Of course I want you! Just not like this." A thought dawned on him suddenly, and he asked, "Is that why you're doing this? Why you got drunk?"

He frowned when she nodded, and closed the distance he had put between them. Lifting her chin with his hand, he wiped away her tears with the thumb of his other hand and looked her in the eyes. "Lily, you don't need to do this to get a guy's attention. And you definitely don't need to do this to prove some git wrong. You-"

He never got to finish. Lily's lips crashed onto his and she was _kissing him_. Her lips were soft, and he could feel all the curves of her almost naked body pressed up against his bare chest.

"Lily," he groaned, trying to step away while he could. If she kept this up, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"James," she whispered breathlessly, "Please."

His mind screamed at him to just walk away, to leave her here as he had planned and go back to his own bed, but his hormones were resisting. When Lily ran her hand down his chest to the hem of his pants and began tugging on them, he finally gave in to his hormones. He forgot why he should say no, why it was wrong, why he might regret it in the morning. He thought of nothing but Lily, and how he was finally doing this with her, the only girl he had ever dreamed about.

Later, they fell asleep curled into one another on the bed. James was content beside her, and for once, he had a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

**Next chapter coming soon! It's almost finished. Reviews always help the process along, though!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am a horrible terrible person for taking so long on this. I won't bore you with any excuses, so just read on!**

The next morning, James woke slowly, at first wondering why he was so comfortable. But then he remembered everything that had happened last night. He bolted upright, eyes wide. Lily was nowhere to be seen, and James was afraid. He had no idea how she would react this morning, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. Would she be happy? Would she be furious? Would she even remember?

Getting up, James located his pants and quickly put them on. Just as he was about to go look for Lily, the bathroom door creaked, and she came out. She was wearing jeans and a plain blue shirt, and James wondered where they had come from.

"I transfigured the drapes," Lily said, noticing his curious glance and answering his unspoken question.

"Oh," he said, not knowing what to say. Lily didn't seem angry, which was a good sign. But she didn't exactly seem pleased either. He wanted to ask her how she felt, what she was thinking, but he didn't know how to bring it up. Awkwardly, he just stood there. She seemed to feel the awkwardness too, because she sighed heavily.

"Look, James, about last night..." she began, and James braced himself for the rejection he knew was coming. "I'm sorry. It was a huge mistake, and I should have never let it happen. Can we just... forget about it?"

_A huge mistake. _That was almost worse than anger. James could deal with an angry Lily, but this... This was too much. And she wanted him to _forget_. How was he supposed to forget about the greatest night of his life? Maybe she could forget, but James certainly couldn't. He knew, though, that she was giving them the opportunity to go back to normal, without this weighing on them. That was something he couldn't pass up.

"Yeah, sure," he told her, trying to sound okay with it. She looked at him for a long moment.

"I guess I'll see you later, then," she said finally. Lily brushed past him and out the door, leaving him standing there alone, looking after her.

After a minute or so, he walked to the bed and plopped down. Groaning, he rested his head in his hands. This was not at all how he had imagined the morning after. In his dreams, they would lie in bed for hours and just talk and cuddle. But this was reality. So, James needed to act like this had never happened.

He thought about whether he should tell his friends or not. Sirius was his best friend, but he was loud and could never keep a secret. There was no way James could trust him with this kind of information. Peter wasn't the kind of person you told intimate details to, so he was out as well. Remus, however, was great at secret-keeping, and always gave the best advice. He would be perfect to talk to right now. Well, as long as he could get Remus away from the other two without them eavesdropping. That would be the tricky part.

Jumping up, James took one last look at the room before walking out the door. He was suddenly conscious of his lack of shirt, so he increased his pace to get to his dorm quicker. Thankfully, the Gryffindor common room was empty when he walked in. James took the steps two at a time and pushed the door open. He was immediately bombarded with questions.

"Where were you?" Sirius shouted.

"Where's your shirt?" Peter questioned.

"Is everything alright?" Remus asked, looking concerned. James took a deep breath.

"I was… um, with someone. My shirt's right over here," James answered, grabbing his shirt and throwing it on, "And everything is fine."

It was only a small lie, as everything was _not _fine, but he didn't want to deal with any more questions. He prayed his friends would leave it at that, but as usual, they didn't.

"Who were you with?" Sirius asked with wide eyes.

"Just… someone. It's not important, okay?" Sirius squinted at him.

"What aren't you telling us, Prongs? What went on last night?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened. How are you so chipper this morning, anyway? Last I knew, you were shit-faced," James said, hoping to divert him. Sirius gave him a mischievous grin. He got up and rummaged through his trunk, pulling out a vile of blue liquid.

"Behold!" James raised his eyebrow, indicating that Sirius should explain. "It's a hangover potion!" he exclaimed. Taking the bottle from Sirius, James examined it.

"How'd you get it?"

"I made it. Found the recipe in a book in the library," Sirius explained.

"You went in the library?" James asked incredulously. In all the years that James had been friends with Sirius, he had never once gone into the library. He said it would "ruin his reputation."

Looking grim, Sirius replied, "Yes. For the good of all hung-over students, I, Sirius Black, went into the library." He shuddered as he said the word "library," and James shook his head at his dramatic friend.

"He nearly blew up the potions room!" Peter said loudly.

"I didn't though!" Sirius said, indignantly. The other three boys laughed at him, and after a minute, he smiled as well. "I'm starving. Let's go to breakfast."

Without waiting for any of the others, Sirius strode out the door and down the stairs. Peter waited for James to go down, but James waved him off, saying he would be down in a minute. Peter nodded, and hurried after Sirius. When James turned around, he saw Remus sit down on his bed and look at him expectantly. He couldn't help but smile. Remus always knew when something was amiss.

"So, what really happened last night?"

Taking a deep breath and sparing Remus all the gritty details, James told him about everything that had happened with Lily. Remus listened patiently and silently, and James knew he had made the right decision by telling him.

"Well," Remus began after James had told the whole story, "That sounds like quite a night. I have to say, I'm a little surprised by Lily's reaction this morning. It's not like her. She isn't usually so… calm about things, especially when you're involved."

Up until that point, James had never considered Lily's reaction strange in any way. But, the more he thought about it, the more he knew Remus was right. Why _hadn't_ Lily been angry? Everything he did seemed to make her angry and most girls in her situation would have been, regardless of who it was. She had been drunk, and because of that her judgment had been impaired, while he, on the other hand, had been perfectly sober. It hadn't seemed like he was taking advantage of her when it had happened, but now that he looked back, that was exactly what anyone would think. Where was her wrath, her fury? Had she simply not known that he was sober? That hardly seemed likely, and James dismissed it immediately. Seeing no valid explanation for Lily's behavior, James shrugged his shoulders.

"I wish she had been angry," he told Remus honestly. "I can deal with that a lot better than this indifference." Remus nodded with understanding, though he seemed to be thinking as well.

Finally, Remus said, "I'm sure she'll come around. She just needs time."

James groaned. _More time. _It seemed like all he had given her these past few years was time. It was their last year here, and he was running out of time. If she was going to "come around," then she better do it soon. Otherwise it might be too late.

"We should get down to breakfast before the others wonder where we are," Remus suggested. James silently nodded, and followed Remus to the Great Hall. Even though his friend hadn't said much, James still felt better than he did earlier. Remus always had a way of calming people down.

James was grateful when no one spared him a second glance as he walked through the Great Hall to the Gryffindor table. He paled, however, when he noticed that Sirius had chosen a seat right next to Lily and her friends. There were only two seats available: one next to Peter, diagonal from Lily, and one directly next to her. He paused, unsure of what to do. Under normal circumstances, he would have always chosen the seat next to Lily. Today, though, he wasn't sure that was the best idea. Someone could notice them acting strange towards each other. But, if he didn't sit next to Lily, someone (most likely Sirius) would definitely notice. Before he had a chance to consider his options, Remus took the seat next to Peter, making the choice easy for James.

Taking a deep breath, James sat down. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Lily look at him and quickly look down at her plate. Sneaking a quick glance at her, he noticed that her face was a slight shade of red, and imagined his looked much the same.

"Uh, hey Lily," he said awkwardly, in attempt to dispel the awkwardness.

"Hi James," she answered, giving him a sideways glance. James, not knowing what else to say, began loading up his plate with food and ate in silence. Every now and then, he would glance over at Lily, sometimes catching her eye. He desperately wanted things to go back to normal with them, where they could converse easily together. Even though they still argued more than most friends, things between them were a lot better than they used to be. And now that was all gone.

"What's up with you two?" Sirius shouted suddenly, causing both James and Lily to jerk their heads up to look at him across the table. Sirius was squinting at them.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, trying to stall Sirius long enough for him to think of a good excuse.

"You two. You just keep looking at each other and blushing. What's going on? Is this about last night?"

Lily whipped her head towards James, giving him an accusing glare. Although they had not specifically agreed not to tell anyone, it was implied, and James understood why Lily would be upset if he had told Sirius. Everyone knew Sirius was a horrible secret-keeper. James needed to think of an excuse quickly. A sudden inspiration hit him.

"Yeah, it's about last night," he said, and he saw Lily's eyes widen as he spoke. James ignored her, and continued, trying his best to sound uncomfortable, which admittedly, wasn't that difficult, as he was uncomfortable. "I, uh, asked Lily out last night. She said no. Sitting here is kind of awkward."

"Why? I thought you asked her out all the time," Sirius said.

"No, I haven't asked her out since…" James trailed off, trying to think of the last time he had actually asked Lily out. He couldn't recall asking her out at all last year, but he must have. He couldn't have gone a whole year without asking her out… could he? He looked at Lily as if she might have the answer for him. Strangely, she did.

"James hasn't asked me out since 5th year," she said. James regarded Lily curiously; how could she remember so clearly when even he couldn't? Shaking his head, James pushed the thought aside. She probably just had a better memory than he did. He stood up, suddenly feeling like he needed to be alone.

"I've got to go work on homework. I'll see you guys later," he said, lying easily. He strode out of the Great Hall before any of his friends could say anything. He was just about to turn down the corridor that led to the front door when he heard someone calling his name. He turned to find Lily running after him.

"James," she said after she caught up to him, "I just wanted to say thanks. For not telling Sirius, and for covering for us. That was a good idea."

"Yeah, sure," James said. She stood there for a moment.

"I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship, James. I was just starting to like you." Green eyes met hazel, and then she turned and walked back into the Great Hall.

James walked a short distance to the main entrance, and pushed the doors open. The cold wind hit his face, and he breathed in the fresh air. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.


End file.
